| My heroine! |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|03:21 pm] |
You have nothing to fear from us. And I hope that you can learn.
Amazing stuff. Here's hoping these are words that become historic, instead of simply history.
*EDIT*
And then I wrote her a letter.
Hello Senator!
I am not one of your constituents- I live in Atlanta Georgia, and left the homeland years ago when my parent headed south to warmer climes. But today via the infosphere that we live in as part of the 21st century, I got to see your speech to the Senate floor.
Thank you, Senator. Thank you for your words, which moved me. Thank you for your logic, which compelled me. Thank you for your compassion, which touched me. And thank you for your bravery, which inspired me. You're a beautiful person inside and out, and as my wife and I strive and hope for the day when the legal system will recognize the commitment that we have made to one another as a legal contract as valid as any other, our hope and faith that it will come to pass is renewed by moments like this.
Thank you... thank you for fighting for what is right, for a cause that is not even your own, but that you see as what should be. For those of us whose lives can and will be changed tomorrow by the words you speak and the causes that you champion... thank you.
Today, you are our heroine.
Sabrina & Wendie
Atlanta, Georgia |
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| Witch Wish list |
[Dec. 3rd, 2009|04:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
A couple of people asked me what I might like for christmas this year. That's sweet, really- someone asking usually means someone is interested in giving.
Okay, that's not true. I just wanted a good opener. Nobody has asked me what I want this year, just like most years, and I expect gifts from a couple of people and that's it. And thinking about that inspired this particular column.
There is a trend that I have noticed. Around the holidays, I always seem to put together a list of the people in my life and make sure that I give them a gift of some sort. To me this is the spirit of the season- do something nice for the people in your life. You may not have remembered their birthday (which is often because they don't announce it, which is a peeve of mine), but christmas is one that everyone knows about and can prepare for in advance. It's fun to get presents, big or small, and know that you are appreciated by someone. And I like to give the people that I treasure in some way, great or small, a gift to show them that they mean something to me.
And there's two kinds of guilt associated with that. Let's examine them, shall we?
The first is Greed Guilt, as I call it. You look, you find something that really just sings and dances 'That Person' and you get it, wrap it and present it to them. They open the gift, their eyes light up, they gush how great a gift it is and how much they appreciate it, and then that's it. You may or may not see them wearing or using it from time to time, but the real kicker here is no reciprical gift. Now, being the paragons of humanity that we are, we all give gifts for that happiness that it brings. But on whatever level you want to call it, secretly we are also hoping for a gift in return. I mean, we cared enough to find a good gift and present it, after all. We showed the person we know them and that we appreciate them and acknowledge that they are a part of our lives and that they are special. Cue the Warm Fuzzies.
When a gift is not recieved in return, one starts to think about things. Is the other person not as into us? Do they not know us well enough to buy us a gift? Do they just not care? Price is generally not a consideration, because really, I've been a mistress of inexpensive gift-giving for years and assume other people can manage to buy a $5 frame and make a color copy from an art book and scrawl a holiday message on the back and wrap it in paper and tape to hand it off. In short, for a gift to be thoughtful it doesn't have to be pricey, so nothing in return usually has no real price point answer. Instead, it kinda makes you feel bad, let down by the other person.
And then there's the guilt component.
After all, you aren't supposed to be giving gifts and expecting one in return. We give for the joy of giving and all of that- and it is true, but seriously, who doesn't want a gift in return? As we examined above, it makes you think all sorts of things when one is not returned, but beyond all of that it makes us feel like shitty human beings for wanting or expecting a gift in return. When you get a gift in return you feel mildly embarrassed and make the appropriate "Awww, you shouldn't have" noises but really, you feel very good in that moment. Yay validation, glad I got you a gift too! But that one way gifting? Mmmm, makes you feel not so good on a few subtle levels. And the guilt doesn't stop there. What about next year when the same person comes up again? And you think to yourself "Hm... well, they didn't get me anything last year..." Here, have some more You're A Shitty Person For Thinking That Way Guilt. But you think it, you can't help it, it is just human nature.
And all of this springs from you giving a gift that isn't reciprocated. Now let's examine the flip side of this equation.
Reception Guilt. Again, perhaps it is just my own fevered brain furrowed under my acryllic hair and my santa cap that thinks this way, but there is nothing like being handed a gift from someone whom you definitely did not plan to give a gift to that year. I'm not talking about someone on your list where you are still waiting for it to come in the mail, or it is on layaway or you have the page bookmarked and plan to get to the copy center, I'm talking about someone who hands you a gift with whom you did not at all plan to share the season. The purpose of gift giving is to show appreciation and make someone feel good and give them something that they will enjoy. I dunno about you but there are always plenty of people in my life that I really don't care to make feel that way. Tis the season, yeah, sure, you betcha, looka the time I gotta go. Call me petty or cold or selfish or whatever you like, but there are people out there I do not wish Tidings Of Comfort And Joy, and it is usually for a reason.
So when they give you a gift, suddenly you have Gift Guilt. Now you know that they were thoughtful enough and think enough of you as someone significant in their lives to give you a gift for the holidays. It's even worse if it is a nice gift, one which shows insight into your character and demonstrates that they know you well and worked to come up with something nice for you. Because there you stand, discarded wrapping paper in hand, holding a gift that you know you never intend to reciprocate. Sure, you may lie and make some platitude to try to make yourself feel better and tell them theirs is still coming or something, but in your heart of hearts you know that you aren't going to do any such thing. You are just going to quietly take the gift and try to forget that nagging guilt of not having given one in return. Because handing the gift back is even worse- that's some hard core rejection right there, and there's very few ways to insure hurting someone's feelings for good and making an enemy for life.
So there we have it, both sides of Gift Guilt as I see it. You will likely suffer from one side or the other of it this season... I know I always seem to no matter how hard I try. This year I am going to try to limit it by keeping my list small- I have no coworkers to worry about (usually a Greed Guilt scenario for me, as I give my coworkers gifts and see that they really don't share my holiday philosophies). I have a few friends in my life that I have plans to gift, and most of that shopping is done already. No relatives left to gift, so we'll count that as a blessing, as familial guilt is another entire column unto itself. Mostly all I have to do is take care of Wendie, and I have the majority of that gifting sewn up this year.
So if you happen to be one of those people out there who reads my ramblings and planned to give a gift, I thank you in advance, as I will thank you when you hand it to me. I'm easy enough to buy for if you know me, after all. And if you are one of those I hand a gift this year then please do enjoy it... it truly does come from the heart, after all. But if you happen to find yourselves in a one-way gift exchange with me this season, hopefully you will have read this article, and you'll have a bit clearer understanding of just what's going on under the surface now, as I have peeled away the layers of polite civility from them and laid them bare for what they are.
And hopefully in knowing this, it will take some of the sting out of the season for you.
But probably not.
Happy holidays! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|04:08 pm] |
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Happy birthday Mary! I hope this year you find what you are looking for... |
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| Just so very true. |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|02:07 am] |
He even looks like a little version of Dr. Who's "The Master"
Wonder if there are any pics like that from our childhoods...? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2009|01:28 am] |
Wouldn't it be ironic if the zombie apocalypse started on Thanksgiving?
Food for thought. |
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| 5 questions |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|02:02 pm] |
Leave me a comment saying "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions
I reserve the right to totally punk out on this, as well as leaving the right for you to punk out on the reposting. And keep in mind, I just cut my nails off, so for a change these are my fingers striking the keys, not my nails. So my odds of typos is even higher than usual. With that in mind, here are ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) a_kosmos questions to me.
1. I'm always amazed by your beautiful skin in photos. What do you do to keep it beautiful?
Clean and moisturize. I wear very little foundation, but I do wear a lot of blush and eye makeup. Every morning I scrub and moisturize, insuring that my skin is clean and prepared for the day. And then every night I scrub it all off, usually starting with baby oil to remove the makeup and following it up with a cleanser and a washcloth, and then moisturizing again. There will be an instrctional video on this soon, apparently.
Beyond that the part that used to have a beard has been lasered, and that really does resurface your skin nicely.
2. How did you end up in Atlanta?
After my divorce... well, it wasn't quite over yet but I was definitely done with it, I moved to Wisconsin for a winter to stay with a friend. Yeah, I know- Wisconsin in the wintertime, what a great rememdy for depression! After I survived that, I realized that I had not made a single friend in Wisconsin nor had I found a job, and I knew I had to go before I hung myself in the basement.
I had been coming to Atlanta for years for conventions, and the people I knew who lived here had made a good impression. So I threw the dart down here and settled in, and I've nevere regretted it. Atlanta is my home, and I love her dearly.
3. How did you and Wendie meet?
We met in Paris.
No, seriously, it is a lesbian bar over in Decatur. A friend dragged me in there one night and she was in similar circumstance. When I walked in she nudged her friend and said "WHO is THAT?!?" Her friend looked over and replied in a Texan drawl, "Ohhh, thet's Sabrina. She's kind uv a betch." Wendie intrioduced herself to me, I gave her a scad of advice, and when we ran into one another weeks later she thanked me for it. We stayed in touch through YM for a month or two and then I trook her out for her birthday- our first date. I started staying at the house shortly thereafer and before long I was moved in, and we've seldom been apart since.
4. What kind of music do you find yourself listening to lately?
Old classic stuff.. ELO, Supertramp, Little River Band, the Misfits American Psycho, Abba. Just hear Nora Jones last night and I plan to pick her album up... mostly it is a question of whether something catches my eare and if I have it. I'm still recollecting my old Billy Joel albums an CD.
5. I love the descriptions of your parties. Do you do Christmas or New Years or Thanksgiving on the same kind of scale that you do Halloween?
Noooo. I have done the big Thanksgiving, I'm perfectly capable and it isn't so bad, but it has been a hot minute since I did so. Christmas is a nice time of year and all, but I prefer to leave that party to someone else. New Years is the anniversary of the party that my best friend back in Florida hosts every year, which I try to make it to in order to catch up with all of my friends form Back In The Day (tm).
Nope, I seem to host basically 3 parties a year these days... one spring, one summer party and my birthday party. Spring is Wendie's birthday party- this year it will be a 'reassemble her classic Mustang' party slash BBQ. Summer is a 'pool party' where we turn everyone loose with waterguns and waterballoons and squirt guns and set up the kiddie pool and have a BBQ. And then my birthday party is the Halloween party. I go all out for the Halloween parties because I want people to come to them, and I have realized that if you want a good party, thropw one yourself. I am slowly but surely working to secure my Halloween parties as THE event of the season, the place to see and be seen. I'm getting there :) |
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| Music Meme Thing |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|02:52 am] |
It's no vapid quiz but a musical meme, and for larp no less. So for those who care, here's the musical answers of Sabrina Pandora!
( Hit it! ) |
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| Bah! Links are for the weak! |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|04:41 pm] |
I'd doing a bit tonight... does it count as a show? I dunno... I guess it does. Syrens of the South Bargain Bonanza!Whatever you call it (or I call it as the mood strikes me), I 'll be wisecracking like an amateur with a microphone in my hand, Chad Sanborn (who allll da ladies love) will be making magic. Maybe in his pants. And we'll be selling merchandise, so it is your second chance to get the Official First Sabrina Pandora Merchandise Evar. That's right, t-shirts bearing my likeness and logo. Your chest will look bigger just putting it on- mine always does.  Also posters, 8X10 glossies and all the other claptrap you would expect out of a real live celebrity. Or someone working on becoming one. And I will autograph anything you buy! Even t-shirts! So come on out and make the Syrens happy! And help me feel loved. And appreciated. And merchandised. Little Tree Studios
2830 Franklin Street
Avondale Estates, GA 30002
www.sabrinapandora.com is under construction as soon as my web guy arrives...and there he is! |
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| Writer's Block: Super-human |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|03:41 pm] |
While there are plenty of super powers that would be marvelous, if I had the choice of only one, it would be a toss-up. Super inventive intellect would be great, because then I could simulate any number of super-powers simply by inventing a device for them. And make the world a better place in the process, enabling us to make technological leaps.
Yes, Virginia, you would get your flying car. And your personal jetpack. Mind the insurance.
Failing that I'd take the ability to reassign body mass. All of those terrifyingly skinny girls who whine because they can't lose weight? I could fix that. And I know entirely too many of us who would give just about anything (save strenuous diet and exercise, and some even do that to no avail) to lose some pounds. I could fix that too. Safe boobjobs, breast reductions, take a few inches off the hips, round out that ass, all in the snap of my fingers.
I'd be rich off the Oprah contract alone. And heaven help whoever pisses me off. |
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| Veteran's meme- show your colors! |
[Nov. 11th, 2009|02:31 pm] |
For those vets out there who don't know what to say today, let's see your old boot photos and pass this one around. Can't be more embarrasing than mine...
I wasn't much of a sailor, but I did serve my country for years. Cheers to those of who gave our time, our service and in so many cases their lives for our country. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:06 pm] |
Happy birthday James!
I got a little caught up and didn't get by today- raincheck for lunch this week to catch up and wish you a happy one? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|11:01 am] |
As I consider a job in the restaurant industry again, I read this and am amused.
Ahhh, to lounge about trading bon mots with my coterie, smoking opium, engaging in casual sodomy. Where can I apply for this job...? |
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| BWHAHAHAHAHAH! |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|02:09 am] |
Yeah. This.
And then there's this, in which nerdlover references another article that really just gives me another reason (because I needed another one) to hate Twilight.
Twilight by Mormon Girl = 10% tithe = Prop 8 opposition money at the box office!
I don't hate you for being a fan. Lose respect for you, sure, but I don't hate you for it. Hate the genre, not the fandom.
Sparkly stalker mormon-type pretty boys who love the average girl... what a formula for success. It's okay to sneak in to watch a teenaged girlk sleep at night in her bedroom if you are a hundred or so as long as you don't have sex even though she's soooo delicious but we can't let the gays get married, oh heck no, that'll destroy the sanctity of marriage.
Sigh.
Onwards and upwards. Social evolution, hyah! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|05:09 pm] |
Here's to the many friends, so many, many friends, who came last night to help me celebrate my birthday. The rain stopped, the mud was everywhere and it sure did get cold.
But the moon was full, and so was the house, as is my heart. I am truly blessed to have so many friends to come and help me celebtrate my 42nd year on this earth with me.
Thank you one and all. I am a very happy gal today. Thank you so much :) |
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| Last minute |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|10:28 pm] |
Hokay, most of the prep is done. The house is mostly done. Now it is a question of the weather permitting, getting the helping hands to pitch in on a variety of little tasks and watching folks come and have a good time.
Whew!
A few folks distant have expressed that they wish they could come, and I wish they could too. And a few have expressed that they'd like to get me something but aren't comfortable getting me a lot of things in the categories I mentioned because, well, it is hard to buy for the girl who shops for herself a lot.
So, with that in mind, as gauche as it may be, I'ma put this up again.
Truth be told it is a little pricey to throw one of these shindigs. Each element of it adds up, and as I'm not a corporation as yet and not charging anything, well, it all comes outta pocket. So if you are distant and want to do something for me on my birthday, just click on the button and throw a few bucks in the donation jar on the bar, electronically speaking. It'll be very appreciated and darn helpful... so if you haz the urge, here's the means.
Thanks! And Happy Halloween! |
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| *crawl, crawl, stagger, shot, roll* |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|11:56 pm] |
Soooo tired. And I have to go to work tomorrow.
So much of the party prep is done. Much of it will need maintainence, as such things always do, but a whole mess of it is done, and now all I will have to do is slap it in place.
Good weather. Good luck. And a good time had by all.
Here's hoping. Seeya Saturday!
(Look- managable size!)
And if you are one of my many large and potentially violent guy friends, don't be surprised if I ask a favor of you through the night. You know me... |
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